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RememberingI remember Sept 11 ,2001. I had a day off from treatment. It was a beautiful sunny day here. I remember Hubby came in from work and my daugher was home not feeling well. When the first plane it the towers. It was just so shocking. That whole day was. Then our phone was ringing off the hook. Guys from the fire hall calling. Emails were just coming our way from families in the fire services that we know around the country. And of course many that we lost friends that day as well. Then what was tough for me I had been going in one cancer message board at the time for a some time. One of my friends from in there had a wife with colon cancer. That day his brother was missing. He worked at the Pentagon. Yes that day he died, but the word wouldn't come down for a few days what really went down. I remember just feeling so much emotion. It made it so much more personal all of it. Today all I could think about was hugging my Husband a bit longer, the need to talk to my kids now not tomorrow. Today was a quiet day mainly reflecting how to honor those lost. I think living life to the fullest is the only thing any one of us can do. Prayers for our Country tonight. Always Hope Ahh I love the messege.. I got this Link today from a friend . So I took a look...Finish Strong. I love the music as well. :) Have a great day. Hugs and Prayers Always Hope Prayers Needed!Just asking for Prayers Tommy and his Family . Tommy is one of the guys my son goes to school with. His brother drown this past Memorial Day while Kayaking. He was 19. I am praying that God surrounds, Tommy's family and friends durning this time. Last night was a hard night I did not sleep well. I ended up on line late and ran across a few articles and links ending up with the story. I know I am not suppose to know..or whatever but I do. Sadly crap happens. This is a tough one for everyone. RIP Mikey To my Kids...who I know read here...I Love You! this is one of those if the shoe fits wear it ..posts This is a post I hate writing. The last few days its come to my attention by more then a few people about someone saying some very unkind things. I am not in to saying names or ratting people out. I know who reads and who doesn't . But I also know the person who said these horribly cruel and wrong things is trying to make themselves look great and tearing down the other person. Someone I love dearly and that I would give my life for.. I want you to think what you hope to accomplish by what they are saying. Specially when you know whats been said the one worst and nasty thing is so far from the truth. I want you to realize if you put it in writing to others its just as bad as saying it. So whats the deal? All I am going to say is come clean with you. This isn't about anyone else. Stop being so darn childish and grow up. There is a saying *Give others Respect and you will earn respect in return.* Its sad but right now I am so disappointed in you. The other things is if you can't say something nice, the old adage is just don't say anything. To the one I love with my whole heart. I know your working your little heart out. I know your worn to a frazzle. I love you and I am so proud of you! Don't you ever forget that. It surely doesn't define who I am.Amazingly I am a wife,mother and grandmother. I am a daughter, a sister , and a friend. I am an Christan. I am an artist, photographer and crafter. I love being where I live being close to the great lakes. Its beautiful as well as healing. I love to cook...but not like most . I love baking and making goodies my family loves. I love to decorate..not expensive stuff..just small things that make others comfortable. I am a listener. I believe thats important to hear others what they say as well as whats not said. I love to people watch and take pictures of people. I love to see the diffences in culture. I love to learn about them as well. One thing I miss is being around the classroom with kids. That is amazing to see how they learn and what sponges they are to learn. I love to teach and the feeling of those getting what you are saying :) I realized for many reasons in life I am strong. They can't all fit at the spaces. But there are many reasons. Cancer doesn't define who I am~ I have to laugh someone asked me that last night. Cancer is just one thing that makes me who I am. It doesn't define who I am at all. I am enjoying so much lately. Its amazing to feel up to doing so many things I love to do. I think its really hard though because we don't forget what its like to really struggle daily to live. I know I don't. Problay will be with me forever. I am just so grateful for everyday I have and each is a bonus. I am Alive. That makes the every day to day struggles seem easy in comparison to what I have deal with in the past. Does it define me? Nope, Never! I want all of you to imagine a beach full of white sand. Pick it up in your hands. Look for that tiny speck . A single speck. That speck is cancer, the rest of the sand you see thats...Life thats all around you. That defines who I am. Then look out at that beach around you and smile. Look out at the water, close your eyes listen to the waves and gulls. See the dunes around you hear the high grass rusle in the breeze. Hear the kids laughing . Watch the wind surfers skip over the waves. Just sit there,feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Cause that is part of who I am. Think about all we are part of...and you will know what defines who we are. I'm part of something so large how could one thing define me? I think there is so much more in life that defines us. Think about what defines you as a person???? I am off to enjoy Life. Hugs and Prayers. Always Hope Snow that is a four letter word!!Today it hit me I am really sick of snow. I know it will be Spring really soon. Thank goodness!! Talk about cabin fever. I think mine is about 106 degrees!! Everyone is whining around here they are either whining because traveling is tough. Or they are whining because its to cold today. But its winter folks its Michigan!! Anyways its funny we went out for a bit..and we came back. I spent some time working on a scrap book and whining cause I am sick of being cooped up!! If you go out and about everyone is coughing, sneezing and I really don't need that right now. So how is your cabin fever??? I am off to curl up on the couch with a handful of cookies and my quilt. Maybe I can find a good movie to watch. Have a good weekend. Always Hope List of must dos. Thank goodness those are done !!Today there was a long list to do right off the bat. I normally don't say much and take it as I go. One thing I have been needed the address in Dental Care. With having a port (which will so be removed.) If there is a dental issue then I need to be on antiboitics asp. I called my Dentist first thing. And I will be having a consult with him about things to see what needs doing . But the other issue if this due to my lymphoma my first surgery and or radiation. then medical insurance would apply in some ways. Like oral surgery of any kind. So this is a big deal since we don't have dental. UGH!! But 99 to 1 teeth crumbling is not from lack of taking care of them its from treatment possible chemo and radiation to the head. Oh joy! So After talking to the Dentist I spoke to the head nurse consultant. Who would over see my case for my Oncologist. Who agreed this is a medical as well as a dental situation. Then the clincher. I spoke to the medical social worker. Who. agreed this part of the vicious cycle and medical should apply in this case. Where they have to write letters to the medical insurance company thats the thing. So she is checking in to that. The good thing and very positive thing is. I spoke further to her about the Social Security Jazz I have encountered. Man was she the person to talk to on that. She told me to apply again and this time...They will have way more info and my records will be directly in my hands to discuss the issue . With a letter on the jacket to state why I am there. Not this applying on line but in person to discuss the situation at hand. With all the info they need in a neat package. Of course they can say no again. But I have proof and thats the case. I have a number from her deal with all of this with a patients rights firm. So we will see but I am not giving up on something that is rightfully mine. As she said my case is very rare due to the head and neck issues. And it should be addressed on its own merits. So we will see. But its not over till...its over . So other then that I am off to see the Dentist...UGH High Anxiety!!! I hate it!! LOL Beautiful crisp sunny day here in Michigan. I hear we got another six to ten inches on the way. Oh joy!! Take care everyone go out and make it a good day...Always Hope Quiet...yup I do have it sometimes.Ahhh its quiet. Gosh I love that, once in a while. We woke up to about 5 inches of heavy wet snow. It had stopped so that was a good thing. Our neighbor has a plow on his truck and a snow blower. He is great he got things moving early and our driveway was clean as was the main sidewalk and Hubby did the one up to the porch and the porch. I decided to stay in today which was fine. Sometimes I just have to play it cool and relax so that was my day. I did some computer stuff and basically chilled for the whole day. Hubby made Burgers for Dinner!Mmm!! So a good day. We are off to watch American Idol. I think tonight its the Girls. I hope Simon can watch himself, I can't stand him. I think sometimes he could be nicer.I doubt it though. He can do a lot of damage with just his words!! Anyways looks like a strong group not willing to take his stuff this time. Oh and the Red Wings are playing so we will be switching back and forth between Idol and Hockey!! Although the Wings better get a move on and win a game or so. Heard Nick Lindstrom will be back maybe Sunday. Thank goodness. Have a great night...Always Hope FlexibilityThis morning I woke up startled by sounds outside. I drifted back to sleep then the phone was ringing off the hook. I decided to roll over and try and sleep which I did till the cell phone was ringing off the hook. Go figure. So I said forget it and got up. Last month I had finished all the financial aide forms for the youngest Sons college. Yesterday I got a copy back. In reading it its so complicated. So I got on the phone to talk directly to the folks who deal with it. In a matter of an hour I spoke to them three times. Then the college. I had entered his first for his last name. I caught that right off the bat. I went back into the program and because of that one mistake I couldn't change a thing we had talked about. So again I called the college head of financial aide dept asking them what is the right thing to do. So I ended up redoing the whole thing on like correcting the name resubmitting as a late entry. Which really ticked me off. Its so long and time consuming. I did okay but the site can time out while going through the whole dam thing. So slower people like me its a hassle. So you have to save everything as you go. I was so frustrated when I got to the end...I had to call them back at the Fafsa office asking them to help me out with the balance. I said*Help get me through the balance of it!* I was so frustrated. Mind you I still have to send this copy I have here back to them when my Son can sign it. Its all this pin number and password stuff . What a head ache and both parent and student have to sigh it all this year. Where is my son on spring break in Florida! Lol. A having a great time...by the ocean. And I am stuck on the frozen tundra..freezing my buns off and taxing my brain LOL Anyways I was able to get that completed and submited. When he gets back I will have to go in with him and show him what he needs to do and sign this form. UGH That should be interesting. All I know the forms did say eliable for help. So I was so glad for that. Trying to get our ducks in a row for the fall. With that we went to lunch. We went to Olgas Kitchen. After the third time they got my sandwich right. I was a bit upset .So they gave me lunch for free. The first one was dripping in grease. How gross!! I said take this back please our waitress was horrified when I picked up off the plate. The the second had cheese all over it. I was like now thats not mine. Since I ordered a plaine olgas with no sauce meat well done. Hmmm. I looked at and said ..Yuck and said umm please take this one back. So she did and the manager made the third one. It was excellent!! So we sat there and regrouped for a bit. I wanted to get back here and make a few calls write the bills and do a few of those things. I had to laugh my car bill payment slip must of grew wings and flew off someplace. I had every bill but that one. I went searching and finally...called and talked to them with the account number. I had to laugh, I got on the phone and the house is a mess. I got things all over the place. Cause when I hunt for things thats me. A mess. And the phone rings my daughter and the baby are on their way LOL. I was like omg. So I was running with the phone and doing twenty things at once. So talk about flexibility. My Hubby said later. *I don't know how you keep it all straight* I had to laugh really loud!!! Together...I said * Try gotta say flexibile or I am in big trouble. The rest of the day we spent with the kids...and laughing at the *little one* She is so darn cut and is also has a little stubborn streak to . Wonder who she gets that from! Lol To funny as hectic as it was it was a great day. I am pooped. So I am off to get some rest. Man is it snowing and blowing here. Amazing I don't thing we have had so much snow in a really long time or a winter this rough. Winter advisory up.....I have to laugh about it to. Cause its 5 inches not a foot or anything. So we will see what the morning brings. Hugs and Prayers, Sleep tight everyone. Always Hope Food For Thought
I got the Blues..Okay tonight I admit it my mood is lower then an ants belly. Maybe to much on my plate or weeding through whats on it right now. I am tired this happens about once a month I over do it and get zapped.. Then I am reminded about the disease I had. That creates chaos once in a while. Then I have to just regroup no getting around it. I keep thinking that will just one day go away. Then I am gently reminded by my Husband that I have been to hell and back and rest is a good thing to heal. So i do it but its frustrating at times. Today we had our Wee One. and when she took a nap I took one with her. So I had a 2 hr rest mid day and that was good. I just wish I could get a handle on when its going to hit and adjust for it. Thats the thing you can't . That is frustrating as heck to me. Anyways I do have the blues today. So going to work on some photographs and just regroup. Its cold and fierce here in Michigan. Its warm in here but the wind is raging and howling. I am looking for spring!! Hugs and Prayers Always Hope Last year at this time.Last year at this time we were awaiting our first Grandchild. Tomorrow we are going to her first Birthday Party. I can hardly believe she will be a year old on the 27th of Feb. She is a bundle of joy. Toddling around. She is walking. She is still a tiny thing. She is about 18lbs. Tiny like her mom. No teeth yet. So we get this really gummy grin when she smiles. She is one of those little ones that smiles with her whole being. She is to funny cause she scrunches her face up its so funny. She jabbers up a storm and if she doesn't like something you know about it. I know one thing she has brought this family so much joy. Amazing what one baby can do and how life changes when they come in to the world. So tomorrow we will be celebrating Kailah's birthday. I can't wait. Also its funny cause I couldn't imagine being a Grandma. Now I can't imagine not being one. Now I am waiting patiently for her to call me Grandma LOL Or whatever she deems me. Looking forward to our family getting together to celebrate. Make it a good night....Hugs and Prayers Hope Just A Thought*The wise don't expect to find life worth living... they make it that way.* Author Unknown. Just A Thought“There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart…pursue those.” (michael nolan) Doing my homework.When I was a freshman in college it was one of the best years of my life. In so many ways it was a year of new beginnings. I had worked one year before going full time and went to a Junior college near by. I love it there, but I had bigger fish to fry and needed more. I always loved being an artist however its a gift that needs enriching. This was a huge break. Durning that year of going to night classes I was able to get together a small portfolio to show to enter Arts and Crafts. In Detroit. Now known as the Center for Creative Studies School of Art and Design. I remember being so scared walking in the doors there dropping off that portfolio. I remember wondering if I was good enough. Getting in there was a dream deal. Amazingly I made it in to a four year program in the Advertising Design Program. I remember thinking then you have to dream art live it and breath it and thats what I did for the whole time there. I remember back then thinking so many nurturers to help us along. Looking back on it there was so much I learned. I worked my way through and it was worth it. I learned th value of hard work and working to gain things. Back then I had one love and that was photography. Most who read here see the photographs. But they don't know the story of it. Durning this 4 year program in 1974 . I took a blk and white photography class. I didn't know a thing but how to load the camera and that was about it. I could take pictures but didn't know much about it. So this class was full of guys and one other girl who knew so much. I was like oh my gosh I don't know a thing. The worst part I had to learn to develop pictures to . I knew nothing. So that was the start of something big. I made it though the first semester, I had a ton of help but with a good eye and being a fast learner I did okay. Then my professor I really loved that guy, but I was really quiet and shy then. He gets the idea in class and tells all for an assignment he wants us to take a photograph of some one we do not know. I was thinking yeah okay. So I was thinking okay now what. Never thinking how one picture can change a life . So I really waited till the last minute and booked the last time on for the lab slips . Thinking no way I will just walk up to someone I do not know. We had till the end of January to do the work and get what he wanted. and I mean I waited till the last Sunday of the month thinking I gotta do something now. So I decided to go for a ride to the cider mill thinking who knows maybe someone will be there . My parents were like take your sisters. Two little whiney snotty nose brats..one of them was. The other my youngest sister was smiling and happy. I was stuck. Off we went in my pea green Valiant on a sunny winters day.. up in to the hills of a near by suburb. The cider mill was not open but was thinking its chilly but a walk would be good. I was thinking no one knows these are my sisters. but then thats not fair either to lie about it. So we got in the car and drove up over the two way bridge, behind the cider mill. My sister screams out *There is someone you do not know!* God bless that kid..even at 13 she was smart as whip. There was a young man in flannel shirt jeans and ball cap, there fishing. I was thinking to myself..omg. There is no way I am taking his picture. My sister sitting there smiling saying. * Well why not?* She was smug too. Such a look on her face almost cheering me on. So I snapped a few pictures...All of a sudden the guy comes up and says. * Excuse me miss...What are you doing?* I was stumbling on my words ...And shot out a few words. *Taking pictures for an assignment, of some one I don't know!* Not only was this guy young but just good looking. He was direct and looked me right square in the eyes. It took my breath away. No one ever did that in my life . No man anyways. I took some more pictures and as I did I almost slipped into the creek he was fishing in. When that happened he grabbed be by the arm so I wouldn't fall. That just did me in for the day. I was leaving walking away and he asked me for my number. I was thinking yeah okay, then he reminded me I had pictures he wanted to see to. So as the story goes that is how I met my Husband. Taking a picture of someone I did not know on the edge of creek on a beautiful day in January. Now as luck would have it he was sitting with a friend who owned a bar looking through his wallet about a week later. He mentioned he had met me about a week earlier and thought about calling but had not. His friend said * Ahh, call her!* Thats what he did. I said and I was blunt. I was thinking girl whats came over you! I said *Come on over meet my folks...and we can talk.* He said *Tonight!* I said*Sure!* And he did. One week later it was Valentines day our first Date. That was thirty three years ago tomorrow. See good things happen when you do your homework. Happy Valentines Day Always Hope. Ps....I am thankful for: Being in the right place at the right time, one photograph and a rich life full of many blessings.:) Liked this oneAnyone for a nice cup of tea?
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